Spa Trek

Understandably, organising a journey of this magnitude requires much planning and forethought. Each member of the team brings to the table their own individual skills and abilities. For example Simon is a trained paramedic, ready to leap into action should the unthinkable happen. Then there is Ken who, with his organisational skills, makes sure that nothing is left to chance. Should we run into trouble and need to hitch a lift, I can show drivers my fantastic legs to get them to stop for us. So we all have skills.

For some reason this made me think of Star Trek. I loathe Star Trek but the parallels of that series and our expedition are clear, particularly when Captain Kirk & company are assembling a team to explore a hostile land. I should point out one subtle difference though: the crew of the Enterprise have it easy - while they get to beam down to their distant location, we have to walk there.

Without Pete this challenge wouldn't be happening. With his drive, never-say-die attitude and rigid hair he is clearly our Captain Kirk.

Displaying a quiet authority and coolness under pressure, Mr Spock is the secret to Kirk's successes. He gets things done with a minimum of fuss. For this reason Ken is our Spock.

Working away in the Enterprise's engine room (or whatever it's called on a spaceship) is Scotty. The obvious choice for Scotty is Scotty, just because of the slightly similar names but on this occasion Jonty has to be the guy. He is the one to fix things, to provide us with more power when we need it. You could be mistaken for thinking he'll be in the background but without him success would be impossible.

Next up is Doctor McCoy, the ship's doctor. This is an easy one. As the only paramedic in our fellowship Simon is the clear choice. Just like Star Trek's Bones, Simon won't put up with the Captain's shenanigans and daft quips.

That leaves Ollie, Scott, Grant and myself and sadly I've used up the extent of my Star Trek knowledge. The only other characters I remember from Star Trek are Sulu, Chekov and the very female Uhura. Take your pick as to who is who. My fantastic legs make me the obvious choice for Uhura but I'd ask you to think carefully about that. After you've privately assigned us to our various characters you'll notice that one of us is left over. Don't worry, in Star Trek there was always a token guy with a clipboard destined to die at the first sign of trouble.